While in the struggles of raising our daughter it's so easy to forget that even though she was six months old when she came home, she has a past. That past is longer than six months, it is in fact fifteen months. So many factors during pregnancy effect the development of children, that the time in the womb can't be disregarded as unimportant.
So here is the picture that God showed me...
The second time that I watched Oz The Great and Powerful, I was stuck by the little china doll. I mean it's not like we know anything about her when the wizard walks into her demolished village and finds her hiding behind a table with two broken legs. Yet, I found that my heart was broken for her and all that she had suffered. She has survived a very traumatic event. And I felt compassion for her.
My eyes were opened. My daughter has suffered from a traumatic experience that is just as heart wrenching as that little china doll. Can you feel the pain and fear that she must have experienced?
What about those broken legs? An adopted child has already lost a mother and father, and they had no control over the situation. It's like having their legs broken off. Along comes the wizard. He glues her legs back on. An adoptive family is like those glued on legs. The child is whole, cherished, loved, provided for, and protected. But, I'm beginning to see the cracks that are left behind on their legs. Will they ever be truly whole? I know of only one way to permanently fix a broken person, and that is God. Only God. My heart breaks for the hurt that my child feels every minute of every day, deep down inside and I plead with God to heal her broken legs that she may be whole in Him.
How do you parent a broken person? Don't ask me! I'm floundering. My hope is in the LORD and His wisdom in each and every situation. My wisdom failed me years ago. I have one thing left to do, surrender to God and parent in His strength and leave the result up to him. For too long I've been so afraid of what my daughters future might be. If a person acts irresponsibly as a child and you feel like you can't teach them correctly, than the only reasonable conclusion is that they will be an irresponsible adult, right? Wrong! Because there is a God who lives and moves in our lives and most of all changes hearts. I'm not saying that we stop training our children to be responsible adults, but at the end of the day the result isn't up to us.
As a side note on the little china doll in the movie, it didn't escape me that the first thing she does after being saved by the wizard is manipulate him. She cries until he says she can go with him into the dark Forest. Make of it what you will, I'm just say'in.